Sunday, September 19, 2010

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Pet Ducks

In one year...

If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?
It would be impossible for me to do everything I want to do before I die, so I would probably do the things that really mattered or that I really want to experience.

I would would make arrangements with someone to take over payment of my student loan or try and work out some kind of deal with the company. There would be so many things I'd want to do, so if it were possible, I would try and raise money for myself or ask my relatives for money so I can accomplish some of those things…

I would also quit my job, but because some of the people there are my friends, I’d find some time to get together and have a few drinks, etc.

I would spend as much time as I could with my family, and forget about all the little feuds that exist between certain members of my family. I’d like us all- cousins, aunt, uncles, grandparents, etc. to take one of those trips like we used to when I was a kid. I'm already living on my own, but I would like to live in my very own house, so I would try and make that happen. I'd have parties all the time and invite friends to come over anytime.

I would hunt down a certain someone and we’d have endless hours of sex…;)

I’d also spend a lot of time with my friends. We could go on a Caribbean cruise or travel somewhere, as long as we have loads of fun shopping, swimming, eating, drinking, etc. Yes, I would get drunk. To experience it.

I’d like to experience having a child, but I wouldn’t want to bring one into the world if I knew I would be dead in a year, the child doesn’t deserve that…sooo…I would look into surrogate motherhood. I would feel more comfortable carrying a baby and then hand it over to its real parents if I knew I wasn’t going to be around to see the kid being raised by someone else.

I would play the music as loud as I wanted, and write as much as I can, about many different things. In the summer, I would sit on the lush green grass when I pen and some paper and just jot down my thoughts and feelings. I’d want to meet some famous people, you know me and my TV. I’d love to experience nature, so I’d take a few trips around the world to different places- ie- rainforest, Hawaii, scuba diving somewhere, see a real tornado, etc. I’d want to own a Great Dane if I could, and as instead of sleeping (because I can do that when I’m dead), I would spend the nights staring at the sky.

I wouldn’t care about what I ate or about how short the days are. I’d pay attention to the finer details in life instead of looking at the more obvious things. I wouldn’t worry, I wouldn’t get angry, I wouldn’t care about making a fool out of myself.

Instead of focusing on the fact that I’m dying, I’d rather spend that time just living.

"First I was dying to finish high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college and start working.Then I was dying to marry and have children.And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work. But then I was dying to retire.And now, I am dying . . . And suddenly I realized I forgot to live."

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Bittersweet Autumn



The dawn arrives, gray and somber.
A chill air, alive with a lingering scent of smoke
wraps itself around the dying leaves
Ablaze with gold and crimsons;
Sounds of silence creep between bare trees,
Which the birds have long abandoned.
Summer fades; the bittersweet autumn has begun.

Some random things

A few things that about me that are weird or random that you might not know:

1. I hate talking on the phone in front of other people, doesn’t matter who I’m talking to, I prefer to talk to them by myself with no one around or other listening ears.

2. If someone is calling me and I don’t know the number, I don’t answer it, leave a message and I might get back to you.

3. Some days I can’t stand clutter, everything has to be in its place and neat and tidy, but other days, I don’t really care. My room could be a mess and I wouldn’t care, I guess as long as the clutter is organized. Haha, an oxymoron: organized clutter.

4. I used to have to fall asleep on my back, but now I can only fall asleep on my right side, I could even sleep that way the whole night. A little ouchie in the morning, but it goes away.

5. Even though she died almost a year ago, I still think about my dog every day and how I wish she was alive. I can’t think about her for a long time, because I get really upset.

6. I enjoy watching shows like Ice Road Truckers and Man Vs Wild, and lately I’ve become a huge fan of Cash Cab on Discovery Channel.

I believe that is all for now :)